Saturday, 18 July 2015

AskSE: What do you look like?

quote [ :Mythtyn: I would like to congratulate SE on going over a year without a what do you look like post! Must be a record. ]

This one's for you, Mythtyn.

This post is comedy, so I'm encouraging hilarious, terrible, or hilariously terrible photos.

Edit: Some of you are having trouble posting your photos, it looks like mostly because you're using a service that's generating an HTML page instead of giving you a hard link to the image. Here's some help.

1. Go to

2. Hit the upload button at the top.

3. Choose your poison on getting it uploaded, but I recommend saving the image to your desktop in advance and then drag-and-dropping it to the upload box.

4. On the page you get after the upload is complete, there will be a box labeled "HTML (website / blogs)". Copy/paste that into your reply, and wrap it with spoiler tags. Done.
[SFW] [do it yourSElf] [+9 Funny]
[by rndmnmbr@7:01pmGMT]


cb361 said[2] @ 10:16pm GMT on 18th Jul [Score:5]

Life update: Sad. Girlfriend having another paranoid schizophrenic relapse, and thinks I'm putting anti-freeze in her fruit salad. The worst episode since last year, possibly several years. Ongoing, though the energetic stage has given way to sullen resentment.

Currently it's like living with a surly flatmate, who's polite but doesn't like you very much. Earlier on, she was like somebody being haunted by the ghost of somebody who tried to murder her, but killed himself by accident. A ghost who is now mostly powerless, but would still mislead her if it can. In fact, that sounds like it would make quite a good sitcom. Unlike my life.
rndmnmbr said @ 10:24pm GMT on 18th Jul [Score:1 Sad]
Hang in there, man. Schizophrenia is no laughing matter.

(That's part of the reason I'm hunting psychiatric help of my own. There's a nasty strain of schizophrenia that runs through our family too, and while I think i'm just depressed and suffering social anxiety, there is a voice - my own voice, but a voice nonetheless - telling me that I'm worthless, that it will never get better because I don't deserve it, that I should just give up. I think it's worth checking out.)
R1Xhard said @ 1:19am GMT on 19th Jul
I thinking everything's a laughing matter even a kick to the nuts (helps relieve pain).

When your able to laugh about it your a good way into your recovery in a way because you can accept it as a part of your life weather it's your personal battle or someone close. And hey Patch Adams laughter medicine.
Abdul Alhazred said @ 3:36am GMT on 19th Jul
I'm guessing it's not schizophrenia. I get that one too when I'm depressed.
cb361 said @ 8:55am GMT on 20th Jul
But is it a metaphorical voice in your head, or a literal voice in your head? If it's an actual voice, even if it sounds like your own voice, it sounds like schizophrenia.
Abdul Alhazred said @ 9:05am GMT on 20th Jul
Metaphorical, in my case. Not auditory hallucinations, but my own thoughts bouncing around in there, tearing me down. I also hear my parents and sisters, but mostly it's me.
Onix said @ 12:50am GMT on 20th Jul
Sounds like my marriage.
papango said[2] @ 12:11am GMT on 19th Jul [Score:5 Good]
Maybe this works and maybe it doesn't. This is me with my Dad.

rndmnmbr said[1] @ 12:13am GMT on 19th Jul
Well that didn't work.

I'ma add how to use Imgur to the post. See if it helps.
papango said @ 12:16am GMT on 19th Jul
I got it sorted. Eventually. It's huge, but it's hidden.
Onix said @ 12:55am GMT on 20th Jul
Hey Papango. You are lovely. Nice smile.
papango said @ 7:36am GMT on 20th Jul
Thank you, that's very sweet of you. Usually I'm really awkward in photos, but in every one of the wedding photos I'm grinning my head off. It was a great day.
rndmnmbr said[1] @ 7:06pm GMT on 18th Jul [Score:3]
I was a wee bit drunk this particular night...

...jesus christ. I forgot this pic was nearly three years old. I've lost a considerable amount of weight since then. And my hair is a lot longer.

Do I really want to go take a selfie in the bathroom mirror?
sanepride said @ 7:38pm GMT on 18th Jul
Abdul Alhazred said @ 8:25pm GMT on 18th Jul
Oddly enough, you bear a striking resemblance to a friend of mine, a jeweler who made my wife's and my wedding rings. Not that that's relevant to anything, it just struck me...
Onix said[1] @ 8:51pm GMT on 18th Jul
Yes, you do. I mean, rndnmbr, take that picture.
rndmnmbr said[2] @ 12:37am GMT on 19th Jul
Fucking tiny bathroom mirrors means I can't get one without hiding half my face with the phone, so have a crappy one from the forward-facing camera. Apparently I'm dumb and can't phone.

Onix said @ 12:54am GMT on 20th Jul
Hey pal. Nice picture.
arrowhen said[1] @ 8:07pm GMT on 18th Jul [Score:3 Good]

I suppose I should update my South Park avatar at some point.
Abdul Alhazred said @ 8:11pm GMT on 18th Jul
Jesus! Last I knew your hair was longer than mine. Why the change of heart?
arrowhen said @ 9:56pm GMT on 18th Jul [Score:1 Insightful]
I realized I spent pretty much all my time with my hair back in a ponytail so it wouldn't hang down in front of my face and annoy me. It kind of seemed like I was carrying around all this annoying hair just because I liked the idea of having long hair, and I decided that was a silly thing to do.
Abdul Alhazred said[2] @ 7:42pm GMT on 18th Jul [Score:2]
There was a thing on Facebook a while back that estimated your age based on a photo. I shot this one with a window on my right to show my wrinkles (which show better in higher res) and the grey in my beard. Anyway, it's one of the more recent shots I have.

arrowhen said @ 9:52pm GMT on 18th Jul [Score:4 Funny]
Future you:

Count Rugen said @ 8:10pm GMT on 18th Jul
[surreptitiously slides six-fingered hand into pocket]
Abdul Alhazred said @ 8:14pm GMT on 18th Jul
There are more sinister comparisons...

rndmnmbr said @ 8:51pm GMT on 18th Jul
Jeff Bridges?
Abdul Alhazred said @ 9:03pm GMT on 18th Jul
Man, you would not believe how often I get that. I've had to memorize most of "The Big Lebowski" in defense. Not that I'm complaining, mind you, but it's common enough that my kids roll their eyes about it.
rndmnmbr said @ 9:23pm GMT on 18th Jul
To be fair, it's pretty damned uncanny.

And/or the lead singer of an 80's hair-metal band on their reunion tour.
Abdul Alhazred said @ 3:30am GMT on 19th Jul
You should see me if I leave my hair down on a windy day in the desert. I look like I just got kicked out of Poison.
rndmnmbr said @ 12:10am GMT on 19th Jul
I should also ask, about your username... when you were seized by an invisible monster in broad daylight in the streets of Damascus and devoured horribly before a large number of fright-frozen witnesses, how did that turn out?
Abdul Alhazred said @ 3:34am GMT on 19th Jul [Score:2 Interesting]
Eh, not bad. I gave Sub-Niggurath a case of the shits and came out relatively unscathed.

True story: I have been through the Empty Quarter between Salalah and Yemen. Boring damn place once you get away from the coast.
Onix said[2] @ 8:45pm GMT on 18th Jul [Score:2 Informative]

Not a fun picture, sorry. Just something taken at the Museum of Memory and Tolerance. God! I look so fat!
cakkafracle said[1] @ 11:32pm GMT on 18th Jul [Score:2]


robotroadkill said @ 12:30am GMT on 19th Jul [Score:2 Good]

Screw it, here's the whole fam. At a friend's wedding. The dress is a little big on the toddler, we couldn't keep that one strap up. Average-ish pic of the wife and I, slightly below average of the kid.
Onix said @ 1:22am GMT on 20th Jul [Score:1 Insightful]
She is lovely, congrats. Well, they both are. Double congrats.
mego said @ 12:57am GMT on 19th Jul [Score:2]

I might as well. Slayed a ridiculous number of perch this day in about 35 feet of water of the coast of Lake Michigan. Good fun.
Dalillama said[1] @ 8:59pm GMT on 20th Sep [Score:2 Underrated]
Inspired by Discolemonade, here's recent shot of me (Possibly a little NSFW) :

shiftace said @ 11:59pm GMT on 20th Sep
Nice pic. The creeper in me had to zoom in to read the text.
arrowhen said @ 2:14am GMT on 21st Sep
I know where you live! (Or at least where your library book is from. :P)
steele said[2] @ 7:28pm GMT on 18th Jul [Score:1 laz0r]
Yabba Dabba Doo!

Bathroom mirror selfie, rndmnmbr :P

February 2015


It was an honor just to be nominated

October, 2014
rndmnmbr said[1] @ 8:47pm GMT on 18th Jul
Yesssss long haired dudes represent.
HP Lovekraftwerk said @ 11:14pm GMT on 18th Jul
I thought you were living out of a truck?
steele said @ 11:43pm GMT on 18th Jul [Score:1 Classy Pr0n]
For the most part. For now, if I'm not out in the woods I'm in Jacksonville helping out with my grandparents and occasionally visiting my sister and her family.
HoZay said @ 2:31am GMT on 19th Jul
Summertime in the Florida woods sounds pretty close to hell on earth.
steele said[1] @ 2:46am GMT on 19th Jul
That's a reasonable assumption.

I just realized about 20 minutes ago that I kinda left a 15% full gallon of milk in my cooler in the back of my truck... since I got to Jax on Sunday. So along with all the melted ice (aka water) that I usually leave in there... I also have some sort of cheese? And a smell, a very bad smell.

HoZay said @ 3:57am GMT on 19th Jul
Luckily, milk doesn't really go bad, it just transforms into another food product.
steele said @ 10:06pm GMT on 19th Jul
You say that but...
HoZay said @ 11:42pm GMT on 19th Jul
OK, that right there is some bad milk.
arrowhen said @ 1:17am GMT on 23rd Jul
Gin makes a man mean! Everyone booze up and riot!
Onix said[3] @ 8:26pm GMT on 18th Jul [Score:1 Informative]
Okay, let me try.

Okay, I know I am a moron already. How do I put pictures here? Sorry.
Abdul Alhazred said @ 8:38pm GMT on 18th Jul [Score:1 Good]
Use the spoiler tags as shown in the Sandbox. It should go (spoiler)(img src="www.whatever it is.jpg")(/spoiler), using the pointy brackets instead of parentheses.
arrowhen said[2] @ 8:41pm GMT on 18th Jul [Score:1 Informative]
To show pointy brackets as text, use &lt; for < and &gt; for >
Onix said @ 8:43pm GMT on 18th Jul
Oh, I was trying with just img. Okay. Thanks pal.
arrowhen said @ 8:38pm GMT on 18th Jul
<img src="">
midden said[1] @ 9:09pm GMT on 18th Jul
I still keep ComposerNate's handy SE HTML page in my bookmarks.

It doesn't have steele's recent additions, but it covers most of what you need.
nitromaniac said[2] @ 10:10pm GMT on 18th Jul [Score:1 Insightful]

HTML stuff never came naturally to me. I can shoot the photos, I just don't know how to make random letters and punctuation equate to a line of code to accomplish an internet "thing".
arrowhen said @ 11:35pm GMT on 18th Jul [Score:1 Informative]
Basic HTML isn't that hard, you just have to get over the intimidation factor of dealing with an unfamiliar language. Spanish or French or whatever can also seem like just a bunch of random letters, until you learn a bit of vocabulary and grammar and start to see the underlying logic behind it, and HTML is way more simple and logical than any human language.

HTML is essentially just a way of telling a web browser what you want it to display on a page. Most of the time what you want to display is text, so there's nothing special you have to do there. You just type in some text and it slaps it up on the page. But sometimes you want to give the browser special instructions, either to format the text, or to display an image or a link or whatever.

You enclose those special instructions, or "tags", in angle brackets, like this:
so that the browser can distinguish them from ordinary text.

You tell the browser to display an image with the <img> tag. ("img" is short for "image".) But you can't just tell the browser to display any old image; you probably have a specific one in mind, so you specify it with the "src" attribute (short for "source"), like this:

<img src="">
nitromaniac said @ 1:17am GMT on 19th Jul
Hmmm, fascinating! Is this what they mean when the kids talk about "Web 2.0"?
arrowhen said @ 1:41am GMT on 19th Jul [Score:1 Funny]
Nah, this is all flint knives and stone hammers level stuff from the ancient internet of the mid-90s. You'd have to ask steele about all that modern shit. :)
ooo[......7 said[2] @ 10:11pm GMT on 18th Jul [Score:1 Hot Pr0n]
ooo[......7 said @ 2:59am GMT on 19th Jul [Score:1 Good]
and one in the spirit of the thing

Onix said @ 12:53am GMT on 20th Jul [Score:1 Insightful]
Oh my God. That moustache is real.
R1Xhard said @ 1:05am GMT on 20th Jul
Just wondering when it comes to manscaping of mo's and beards? What do you use. I've personally been using bee's wax. But it creates a harder matting.
ooo[......7 said[1] @ 5:08am GMT on 20th Jul [Score:1 Informative]
Accept no substitutes Bearded Bastard - Barbershop is the best wax I've ever used.

a close second would be firehouse wax, but its a bit tackier/sticky.
spazm said @ 10:58pm GMT on 18th Jul [Score:1 WTF]
spazm said @ 11:01pm GMT on 18th Jul
Hey, I managed to not mess up the html!
R1Xhard said @ 11:57pm GMT on 18th Jul [Score:1 Original]
Thought I'd include my morning view.
papango said @ 2:01am GMT on 19th Jul [Score:2 Funny]
Nice. I saw only the top picture at first and was like 'Good on R1Xhard for being proud to wake up next to that.'
R1Xhard said @ 2:09am GMT on 19th Jul
Well ain't you just the tough typer. Luckily I got a think skinned back and it just slides right off.
papango said @ 2:50am GMT on 19th Jul [Score:1 Informative]
Yeah, that does seem a bit mean, reading it back. I really wanted to express how sweet I thought it was.
R1Xhard said @ 3:03am GMT on 19th Jul
:D I took it all ways implied.
robotroadkill said @ 3:57am GMT on 19th Jul
Ha, I only saw the top one at first too and thought, "morning view?" is RX1hard that crazy dude's penis?
R1Xhard said @ 1:09am GMT on 19th Jul
steele said @ 12:31pm GMT on 21st Jul
That is a real nice view. Where's it at?
HoZay said @ 4:05am GMT on 19th Jul [Score:1 Informative]
Mythtyn said @ 8:04pm GMT on 19th Jul [Score:1 Underrated]
AssBastard said @ 11:25am GMT on 20th Jul [Score:1 Original]
Fashionably late, as always.

discolemonade2.0 said @ 1:03pm GMT on 25th Jul [Score:1 Classy Pr0n]
star trek burlesque. this was my first act as sulu.
rndmnmbr said @ 3:14pm GMT on 25th Jul
Oh my!
discolemonade2.0 said @ 2:24am GMT on 2nd Oct
That's what my panties for this act say.. With a pic of mr sulu himself.. I also pull tribbles out of my bra.. Second act is uhura fan dance.. I was the only one with fans at the time and our girl that plays data dropped out so i literally came up with a routine in two days
JEBUS said @ 11:08am GMT on 9th Aug [Score:1 Funny]

Good finding a like minded community in this world of mine.
Abdul Alhazred said @ 8:06pm GMT on 18th Jul
Oh, and if we're doing comedy shots... Bahh! MEDIOCRE.

R1Xhard said[2] @ 12:07am GMT on 19th Jul [Score:1 Funny]
For fuck sake I even ment to rotate that first.

And that kids is why one does not partake in the Devil's Herb.
Abdul Alhazred said @ 3:42am GMT on 19th Jul
Mine is a dust mask I picked up at a market where the guy was selling motorcycle paraphernalia. I figure I can wear it while driving my Jeep around the desert with the windows down and scare the shit out of the Arabs I encounter on the road.
R1Xhard said[1] @ 6:50am GMT on 19th Jul [Score:1 Informative]
Mine's just a face shield that's good for riding or when your out fishing and want to keep UV rays off.

Payed $3ish at just look for when they have a sale on. And for the price they are quite good with high visibility.
Silent said @ 10:31pm GMT on 18th Jul
I look like a slice of bacon and a 2x4 got a little too friendly...
I'll save you the trouble of having to look at me, just recoil in horror while you can.
rndmnmbr said @ 10:36pm GMT on 18th Jul
No, sir, I am the ugliest fucker in existence and my mug is posted. You shall do the same!

(bonus points for being hilariously terrible)
R1Xhard said[2] @ 12:01am GMT on 19th Jul
I don't know rndmnmbr you sort of appear like that guy that got picked on and 1000+ hot women threw a party just for him. And I sir may not be the ugliest but I've been told if the person didn't know me they would hate to meet me in a dark alleyway, but once you get to know me I'm just a big stuffed toy :)
Abdul Alhazred said @ 4:15am GMT on 19th Jul
Things like this happen in the night markets in Bangkok:

rndmnmbr said @ 5:15am GMT on 19th Jul [Score:2 Funny]
Here we go with the seizing and devouring again...
Abdul Alhazred said @ 9:32am GMT on 19th Jul
Yeah, that's what you look like after being shat out by an Elder God. Stomping on his sphincter from the inside may get results, but you pay a price...
michaelofoz said[1] @ 10:01pm GMT on 19th Jul
michaelofoz said @ 10:02pm GMT on 19th Jul
well that didn't work out so well...
steele said @ 10:02pm GMT on 19th Jul [Score:1 Insightful]
Edit your comment and try
michaelofoz said @ 10:03pm GMT on 19th Jul
Got it, I don't html much
steele said @ 10:04pm GMT on 19th Jul
All good. Keep in mind there's always the Sandbox if you want to experiment.
Onix said[3] @ 1:01am GMT on 20th Jul
Okay, here's me with my kids. Apocalypse on the right and Algol on the left .

They are really Iñaki (boy) and Xanthé (girl) but the new names come nicely with their nasty habit of destroying everything they touch. Sort of a mutant power I guess.
kylemcbitch said @ 2:17am GMT on 24th Jul
Here, one of the few pictures where I am wearing clothes and not hamming it up:

discolemonade2.0 said @ 6:34am GMT on 20th Sep
Fuck it.. Here's the link
arrowhen said @ 6:47am GMT on 20th Sep
I'll be in my bunk.
discolemonade2.0 said[1] @ 6:48am GMT on 20th Sep
;) being someone's reason. I jerk off or rub one out is great for feeling depressed.. Guaranteed
Dalillama said @ 8:43pm GMT on 20th Sep
discolemonade2.0 said @ 12:48am GMT on 21st Sep
I imagined the actual dali lama saying that.. Made me smirk.. I'll take you to nirvana ;)
Dalillama said @ 1:22am GMT on 21st Sep
If we're ever i the same neck of the woods, I'm told I can be a lot of fun myself ...
Dalillama said[1] @ 5:40am GMT on 21st Sep
I'm rather more put together in this shot though.
discolemonade2.0 said @ 6:10am GMT on 21st Sep [Score:1 Hot Pr0n]
See? I knew I found those new batteries I forgot I bought for a readon.. Haha.. Just kidding mine plugs into the wall
Dalillama said @ 6:30am GMT on 21st Sep
Now with that kind of talk you just might see my corsets ;)
discolemonade2.0 said @ 6:36am GMT on 21st Sep
What can I say? When I'm not being a depressed narcissistic downer... I can be quite the charmer
Dalillama said @ 6:47am GMT on 21st Sep [Score:1 Classy Pr0n]
My kinda gal :)
arrowhen said @ 6:24am GMT on 21st Sep
Hellooooo nurse!
Dalillama said @ 7:44pm GMT on 21st Sep
If I understand this imgur thig properly, you should be able to link to my album from the pic, there's a few more shots there where I'm showing off various outfits
arrowhen said @ 8:04pm GMT on 21st Sep
You would need to post a link to the album itself; images don't link back to albums because an individual image can be in more than one album.
Dalillama said @ 8:29pm GMT on 21st Sep [Score:1 Classy Pr0n]
Fine. Now you should be able to see the album by linking from the pictures I posted here.
robotroadkill said[1] @ 1:12am GMT on 21st Sep
Me trying to look good.

Me trying to look bad

Day to day I'm usually somewhere in the bottom 20% of those extremes. But less sunburnt.
arrowhen said @ 1:23am GMT on 21st Sep
You're huge!
discolemonade2.0 said @ 1:47am GMT on 21st Sep [Score:1 Funny]
I certainly Hope so..
robotroadkill said @ 1:29am GMT on 21st Sep
Thanks, fixed now
R1Xhard said @ 2:46am GMT on 24th Sep
I'm just glad my baby face is goneish :P

knumbknutz said @ 6:54pm GMT on 1st Aug
Chilling with the pups...

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