Friday, 23 May 2014

Don't drink Portland's water (not hyperbole)

quote [ The State of Oregon Health Authority?s Drinking Water Program has required the City of Portland to issue a Boil Water Notice for all Portland Water Bureau customers and some regional water providers. ]

Signal boosting for any people in the city who don't watch TV, don't spend time on social media sites where their friends have linked the news, haven't set themselves up to get alerts from the city via email/text message, and yet still visit SE.

***The water is now safe as of Saturday, 5/24***

[SFW] [science & technology] [+5 Informative]
[by Bruceski@8:33pmGMT]

Comments

ethanos said @ 9:21pm GMT on 23rd May [Score:1 Underrated]
...haven't set themselves up to get alerts from the city via email/text message, and yet still visit SE.

That would be me.
arrowhen said @ 9:36pm GMT on 23rd May [Score:1 Funny]
I didn't even know email alerts from the city were a thing.

If we did those here, they'd announce, like, crawfish eating competitions and shit, and the alerts would come three days late and spelled wrong.
Bruceski said @ 10:03pm GMT on 23rd May
I found out how to set them up about a year ago, after talking with my family about when we had to evacuate due to a fire in 2000 and wondering what 21st century notification options were around since people don't have landlines anymore. Unfortunately the site I found only lists where to sign up for Oregon areas, so I have no clue what you may have available.
arrowhen said @ 5:23am GMT on 24th May [Score:2]
My girlfriend is a marine biologist for the state Wildlife and Fisheries Dept. Her lab shares a building with "Law Enforcement", who are the guys who write you tickets for crimes like Fishing Without a Licence If Your Uncle Isn't the Mayor, or whatever. All those guys, in turn, have cousins (because everyone is everyone else's goddamned cousin around here) who are actual cop cops. So basically, we're pretty much in the loop on everything to one degree or another on most disasters.

If there's a hurricane coming everyone in the state knows about it two weeks ahead of time. 99% of people won't do anything about it other than buy rum, ice, and hurricane mix the day before it's supposed to hit, but we'll casually stock up on bottled water, batteries, and books for our Kindles, and make sure the cats haven't peed all over our stash of MREs, while we check the weather every day and speculat on how many days we'll get off work. As a government employee, my girlfriend will also have been given the opportunity to volunteer for some kind of important-sounding emergency contingency plan, but other than getting people to sign up no significant planning will be done and if shit really does hit the fan, the whole state will just hunker down and wait for the jackbooted thugs of the evil, tyrannical Federal Government to march in and save us so we can complain about them afterwards.

If Godzilla comes stomping out of the Gulf of Mexico, my girlfriend will most likely get a text message within 30 minutes -- not an official one of course: even if we did have an official Godzilla Response Plan, that shit would take like four hours, but in the meantime, some fisherman's friend's cousin's boyfriend will text their friend at WLF who will in turn text her. Within 31 minutes we'll both be speeding off to see Godzilla: her to poke him with a stick in a scientific manner, and me because, dude, it's Godzilla! And besides, it'll be several more hours before the cops get organized enough to kick out random dipshits like me who have no legitimate reason to be there.

If there's an ordinary fire, flood, riot type emergency, some cop will text his cousin in "Law Enforcement" about it, who will in turn text whatever Fisheries Biologist he has the hots for, who will in turn text everyone else in the lab, so we'll probably still know about it before the local "news media" who are probably off covering a fucking Okra Festival or something. Actually, scratch that, if it's a flood, EVERYONE fucking knows which levees are likely to collapse (hint: it's all of them!) the next time it rains two days in a row (hint: that's most of the year!) and the official plan for that seems to be "cross your fingers and hope it happens in the shitty neighborhood where all the black people live instead of the one by your house."

And if there's an actual immediate disaster, like an invasion of Russian paratroopers or a zombie outbreak, we're all fucked anyway since we can't even mount a half-assed response to disasters that are for all intents and purposes planned.

Although if it's zombies, I probably won't even notice. I'll just assume that the usual horde of drunken frat-boys shambling down the street at night are unusually subdued because LSU lost the game.
Bruceski said @ 10:04pm GMT on 23rd May
Maybe there's a system you can sign up for to be notified of things like email alert systems.
arrowhen said @ 10:17pm GMT on 23rd May
Yeah, but who do I fax my phone number to so they can call me to let me know where to send my address so they can put me on the mailing list where they send out instructions for how to sign up for the service that notifies you about email alert systems?
Bruceski said @ 10:05pm GMT on 23rd May
http://www.publicalerts.org/signup has the Portland-Vancouver area, where to sign up for notifications depending on the county you're in.
sanepride said @ 4:10am GMT on 24th May [Score:1 Insightful]
It's funny because it's Portland.
HoZay said @ 5:06am GMT on 24th May
I recently watched the first episode of Portlandia. Seemed like an SNL skit that went on too long. I don't see how they could get multiple seasons out of this concept. Does it get better?
arrowhen said @ 3:33pm GMT on 24th May [Score:2]
I lived in Portland for about 5 years and I think Portlandia is one of the funniest goddamned things I've ever seen. My girlfriend, who has a very similar sense of humor to mine but has never been to Portland, chuckled politely through the first couple episodes and had no interest in seeing any more. I've only seen the first season, but in my opinion, no, it doesn't get any better. And whether it's good enough I think depends a lot on how familiar you are with the area.

Personally, what I think is interesting is that when I lived in Portland (1998 - 2003) the city had no sense of humor about itself whatsoever -- they were too busy being Seattle's jealous younger brother to pay any real attention to themselves, even though Seattle was a washed-up rock star who'd moved back in with his parents by then. But the Portland of Portlandia, 10 years later, is exactly the one I knew. (It's really hard, by the way, to explain that a portrayal of something is both satirically hilarious and completely accurate at the same time, to someone who's never experienced the thing being both satirized and described. Imagine, if you will, trying to describe This is Spinal Tap to someone with no personal experience with 70s/early 80s rock bands or documentaries about them.)

I don't know if the real Portland is still like the one described in Portlandia, or if it's just a reflection of the memories of people who lived in a kind of cool, kind of ridiculous place 10 years ago before they grew up into the sorts of people who are able to make moderately successful TV shows, but they certainly managed to capture the essence of the Portland I once knew. And in the process, they made what is probably one of the very last of a long-dying breed, a truly local TV show.

spaceloaf said @ 12:11am GMT on 25th May
I live in Portland now and I question whether the show makes any sense to people who don't live in Portland. I don't think it's the funniest show ever, but there are plenty of things that only seem to be funny to me because of direct experiences I've had in the city.

I think you hit it right on the head that it's both satirical and accurate at the same time, which probably only people who have lived here can truly appreciate. One thing I do really like is that they shoot all the stuff on location, and they make no effort to hide where it was shot. Most of the places are instantly recognizable.

BTW, this is kind of crazy but Fred Armisen actually lives in the same building as me, though I've only seen him in person a few times.
HoZay said @ 8:56pm GMT on 23rd May
Who peed in the reservoir this time?
Bruceski said @ 10:03pm GMT on 23rd May
Apparently in three tests from different sampling sites two came back with poop and one with e.coli.
snagUber said @ 10:35pm GMT on 23rd May
WTF ?! they consider dumping 38 millions gallons of already treated water because a guy peed in it ? this is more dilution than most of homeopathic "medicines" and as it's an open reservoir I am pretty sure birds already pooed in it everyday (those bastards)....
mechavolt said @ 1:16am GMT on 24th May
Luckily, they aren't dumping it. Unluckily, they're pumping the water into other reservoirs to give the appearance of dumping it.
arrowhen said @ 2:08am GMT on 24th May [Score:1 Insightful]
They're dumping it, but refilling the reservoir with California's tears.
damnit said @ 9:07pm GMT on 23rd May
foobar said @ 10:29pm GMT on 23rd May
Bruceski said @ 10:47pm GMT on 23rd May
Please stop reminding me why I'm sad about my city.
arrowhen said @ 2:18am GMT on 24th May
Hey, your teeth might fall out, but at least your precious bodily fluids will remain pure and unsapped.
Ankylosaur said @ 7:27am GMT on 24th May [Score:1 Informative]
Fluoridation was a lost cause anyway what with Portland's rampant meth and artisanal dentistry.
cb361 said @ 10:54pm GMT on 23rd May
A tanker lorry of toxic chemicals, used for water purification once arrived at a water treatment works in the UK. Without proper instruction, the driver connected the hose from the tanker to the wrong pipe, and dumped the lot straight into the drinking water supply. Much subsequent hilarity was had by all.
ComposerNate said @ 9:01am GMT on 26th May
What the UK needs is more cameras.
rylex said @ 11:55pm GMT on 23rd May
Motherfuck. I was just here yesterday and drank tap water without boiling it...
snagUber said @ 4:20am GMT on 24th May [Score:1 Underrated]
try to boil yourself now. you know.... for safety reasons.
Dumbledorito said @ 1:07am GMT on 24th May
I'm not familiar with open-air reservoirs vis-a-vis how the water gets from there to your tap, but I would've thought it goes through some kind of mild filtration/treatment on the way. Is this not the case? Did they rely on dilution of anything that happened to fall in to prevent waterborne disease? I'm not suggesting some kid pissing in the water = flush the system by any means, I'm asking if there's anything that gives the water a final treating with something before it's consumed.
Bruceski said @ 1:26am GMT on 24th May [Score:1 Informative]
https://www.portlandoregon.gov/water/48904

How is my tap water treated?

--Bull Run water is not filtered.
--Chlorine is added to disinfect the water of any potential natural contaminants.
--Ammonia is added in a process called chloramination to ensure that water throughout the system meets federal and state drinking water regulations. Without ammonia the chlorine would evaporate by the end of the supply line.
Dumbledorito said @ 4:03pm GMT on 24th May
So that's not enough to kill the E-Coli? I'm kind of amazed this isn't happening all the time, given that the reservoir is exposed to everything the outside world cares to toss into it.
Bruceski said @ 5:09pm GMT on 24th May
Usually it is. That's the point of trying to figure out how the contamination happened, so they know what went wrong.
Bruceski said @ 1:24am GMT on 24th May
The water is definitely treated, which is why this doesn't happen very often and why the panic over the guy pissing in it was a joke. As far as I know they don't currently know how things got contaminated, but they're definitely looking everywhere.
rhesusmonkey said @ 3:07am GMT on 24th May
I am a recent immigrant to this distant Land of Ports as you call it, so am in fact quite interested in said "alerts".
Bruceski said @ 3:25am GMT on 24th May
http://www.publicalerts.org/signup for the Portland/Vancouver area. Click on your county and it'll take you to the relevant page for that place.
arrowhen said @ 4:34am GMT on 24th May
Say, out of curiosity, did Portland ever get that free city-wide WiFi they were always talking about when I lived there and could barely afford ghetto-ass dialup?
Bruceski said @ 4:53am GMT on 24th May [Score:1 Informative]
Not that I've heard of.
graham said @ 3:04pm GMT on 24th May
Speaking of things that are fucked (read: us)
graham said @ 3:06pm GMT on 24th May
Did I miss a thing where the things weren't allowed anymore? Or ever?

Guh. I need to internet more. Hold on.
graham said @ 3:07pm GMT on 24th May
Dumbledorito said @ 4:02pm GMT on 24th May
I'm having a hard time not imagining one of those fuckers armed with limpet mines or other similar ordinance.
HoZay said @ 5:43pm GMT on 24th May
with motion/heat sensors, GPS, and lasers!
sanepride said @ 5:30pm GMT on 24th May
Also, on the list of activities requiring boiled water, I don't see anything about bong use.
Bruceski said @ 7:04pm GMT on 24th May
The alert is over, the water is now safe. Run your taps for a couple of minutes to flush out the old stuff.

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