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Tuesday, 18 May 2021
quote [ Sex educators share the super-valid reasons a person may benefit from faking it. ]
We should also probably take it less personally if we find out our partners do it.
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Dienes said @ 1:17pm GMT on 19th May
Faking orgasms for reason #3 is exactly why faking orgasms leads to shitty sex later on. Because its not actually about our pleasure, its about the delicate, labor-intensive dance of assuaging the male ego. Article needs to make up its mind about whether its a good idea or a bad one.
I only faked it with one partner, and that was because he proved himself completely unable to take direction or feedback. I'd say, "Please don't claw at my clit like a cat at a scratching post, try it like this instead..." or "I am not going to come from you twisting my boobs like a part-time DJ, let me show you how to really get me going..." and he'd stop and correct me.
While he'd stop if I asked, faking it was the only way to get him to stop that didn't lead to hours or days of pouting because his ego was so bruised by "you don't know what a woman likes better than she does". No, the relationship did not work out. My experience is far, far from unique. If anything, I'm unusually lucky in how rare it was.
Women are raised with the expectation that men and will be violent/abusive if rejected, and some men take lack of orgasm as a rejection or critique of their manhood. If men want genuine orgams from their partners, they need to be willing to listen, take feedback, let things go, etc. Faking orgasms can be done for the person's own pleasure, sure, but in a lot of cases, its a defensive tactic.
Dienes said @ 1:17pm GMT on 19th May
Faking orgasms for reason #3 is exactly why faking orgasms leads to shitty sex later on. Because its not actually about our pleasure, its about the delicate, labor-intensive dance of assuaging the male ego. Article needs to make up its mind about whether its a good idea or a bad one.
I only faked it with one partner, and that was because he proved himself completely unable to take direction or feedback. I'd say, "Please don't claw at my clit like a cat at a scratching post, try it like this instead..." or "I am not going to come from you twisting my boobs like a part-time DJ, let me show you how to really get me going..." and he'd stop and correct me.
While he'd stop if I asked, faking it was the only way to get him to stop that didn't lead to hours or days of pouting because his ego was so bruised by "you don't know what a woman likes better than she does". No, the relationship did not work out. My experience is far, far from unique. If anything, I'm unusually lucky in how rare it was.
Women are raised with the expectation that men can and will be violent/abusive if rejected, and some men take lack of orgasm as a rejection or critique of their manhood. If men want genuine orgams from their partners, they need to be willing to listen, take feedback, let things go, etc. Faking orgasms can be done for the person's own pleasure, sure, but in a lot of cases, its a defensive tactic.
<-- Entry / Current Comment
Dienes said @ 1:17pm GMT on 19th May [Score:4 Underrated]
Faking orgasms for reason #3 is exactly why faking orgasms leads to shitty sex later on. Because its not actually about our pleasure, its about the delicate, labor-intensive dance of assuaging the male ego. Article needs to make up its mind about whether its a good idea or a bad one.
I only faked it with one partner, and that was because he proved himself completely unable to take direction or feedback. I'd say, "Please don't claw at my clit like a cat at a scratching post, try it like this instead..." or "I am not going to come from you twisting my boobs like a part-time DJ, let me show you how to really get me going..." and he'd stop and correct me.
While he'd stop if I asked, faking it was the only way to get him to stop that didn't lead to hours or days of pouting because his ego was so bruised by "you don't know what a woman likes better than she does". No, the relationship did not work out. My experience is far, far from unique. If anything, I'm unusually lucky in how rare it was.
Women are raised with the expectation that men can and will be violent/abusive if rejected, and some men take lack of orgasm as a rejection or critique of their manhood. If men want genuine orgams from their partners, they need to be willing to listen, take feedback, let things go, etc. Faking orgasms can be done for the person's own pleasure, sure, but in a lot of cases, its a defensive tactic.
