it's like they're staring into my very soul... And giving it an erection - Todomanna
shakes fist 17% harder - ComposerNate
just because we aren't used to seeing it doesn't mean the universe isn't - Trench
it doesn't count as a handjob if you do it yourself - Context
fap 'til you puke - kang
marked NSFW because I know you fuckers too well. - Transfer
like an angry bee in a hollowed-out garbanzo bean - Barnabas_Truman
bleeding out my balls - Naruki
cunning ignorance - kichijoii
another failed attempt at capitalizing on an Internet meme - damnit